(I’m not sure why I’ve come up as Anonymous as I can clearly see where I’ve input my name. Anyway, no matter….)

Ah, it might be a good idea to leave perfectionism to the Angels; anyone expecting it of humans is bound to end up sorely disappointed! I do agree that not every criticism levelled at Mrs. Obama or any other black woman necessarily has anything to do with racism and/or sexism. It can just occur, simply because it does and it may well be constructive and useful even if the initial taste of it isn’t exactly sweet.

I garnered my initial views of Mr. Obama’s opinion of his wife from “Audacity”. For a man that has had charges of sexism levelled at him, it certainly raised my eyebrows that he would openly and proudly state that she was twice as intelligent as he was and that if she ran against him for public office “she would beat me without much difficulty”. That was my first introduction to Michelle, and I’ve been watching her ever since. For a supposedly sexist man he has proven to be consistently good at giving his wife her due…and rightly so! She deserves it; without her he simply would not be where he is, today. Of that I have not a shadow of doubt….and Barack knows that, too.

I do understand where you’re coming from, Bea, regarding the Ludacris crew. I’m glad that Barack put it out there that he didn’t appreciate Ludacris’s recent attempt to lift him up in song whilst denigrating others at the same time. It’s not helpful, it’s depressing and as unwarranted as it is unnecessary.

I too wish that we had more positivity towards and respect for women from men who seem to associate male success with doing women down. You know, I remember reading a while back a quote attributed to John Singleton in which he said that a lot of male negativity towards women wasn’t actually about women at all, but about men’s own low opinion of themselves and belief that women were in fact superior. The men’s negativity was their (feeble, I know..) attempt at salvaging some male pride. That surprised me, that little piece of insight, and it would be interesting to see whether you have any thoughts on how men might better support and uplift women (and vice versa, too, of course) without feeling that such behaviour reflects poorly on their masculinity.

Frankly, I’d be hard pressed to name any politician that I find “refreshing on women” or “non depressing” on gender….and a whole range of other issues to boot! However, being the “positive realist” that I am, and knowing that life is biased in favour of evolution, a part of me chooses to believe that as part of a turnaround in wider society over time we will see increased recognition of and respect for women and our many wonderful contributions to the world.

I’m delighted to read that you know of lots of black men who celebrate their wives and the women in their family, publicly. This will come as news to many! The advantage of having Barack do this is that he has a far bigger stage than most of those men will ever have! It will be noted, studied, remarked on and give many pause for thought to consider their own thinking about and treatment of the women in their lives be that personally, in a work setting or otherwise. This to me is a very, very good thing.

Kudos to you, too, for asking for more. I too believe that life has the best it can possibly bring lined up waiting for me, so there is no settling for second best here, either! However, for me there is no similarity between Mrs. Clinton and Mrs. Obama, not at all, with respect to their men. One clearly loves and is in love with his wife, and recognises her value in his life whilst the other ended up overshadowing his wife’s recent campaign efforts with behaviour and talk that was not uplifting of and supportive towards her. That was a shame and it didn’t have to be that way.

Sorry, but Mr. Obama did not describe and therefore did not insult anyone by calling them ” poor, gun toting, bible reading” folks who have the added misfortune of being “ignorant” to boot! There was therefore nothing for him to apologise for. Since there’s little that he or anyone else can do to police people’s thoughts and actions, the best thing to do is leave any “whitey haters” to their own devices!

One thought that has come to me is that those of us watching Barack and Michelle’s lives have been given – through the media – a small porthole through which we can view what we believe we know about their lives. Really, we can dissect to the nth degree the support that we think he may or may not have given his wife, the way that she has apparently “compromised” her life by choosing at this particular moment in time to stand behind/beside him, but really we know next to nothing. We are not, and never will be privy to the intricacies, and subtleties and nuanced details that have gone into forging a partnership that from what I can see works more than a little well and is a source of great happiness for them both and their impressionable young daughters.

Of course, Michelle’s sacrifice to Barack’s dream is tremendous. It is huge. I also believe that she has made the sacrifice because she is able to see that it has the potential to bear fruit that she, her daughters, her husband and the wider world might also taste.

Michelle will have her turn in the spotlight, again, and in her own right, of that there is no doubt from my side, and I cannot wait to see her “take off”, again.

I’ve watched this election pretty closely all summer. I had high hopes for Barack but being both black and female I also liked Hillary. I was disappointed in both, but I’ll focus on Barack here since he’s the nominee. Barack did not start out mentioning Michelle, he learned to do that as he campaigned and maybe realized women are out there who wanted to hear it. Roll the early tapes. Moreover, it’s not what you say but what you do that matters. I don’t see that he’s done much to support his wife’s dreams. But then maybe this Harvard law School graduates’ dream is marrying a Barack and having children and that’s it. Fine, but then don’t tell me that Barack will look out for black women like me because Michelle is there (which is what she said early on.) I would want a different kind of partnership. I’ve also lived long enough to know that the way a man treats his intimate sometimes says little about how he treats women in the workplace, his competitors, his colleagues. Sometimes he treats his female colleagues far better; sometimes far worse.

Barack’s inner circle is overwhelmingly male and has been for some time. In the Illinois Senate he spearheaded no legislation related to women. Not in the Senate either. His early speeches ignored sexism. I’ve raised the issue of why Barack didn’t address sexism or have more women close in in his circle (and I don’t mean advising Michelle) with two of his male callers asking me for money after *I made an initial contribution. This was before he wanted to woo the Hillary supporters. They both at separate times basicallly went off script and told me they didn’t think sexism was a real problem for black women or really at all. He is attracting the Ludacris’ crew who think that calling a woman a b …. is ok and those who view male success as denigrating women; some who feel that sexual harassment and even abuse of women and even children is a male privilege. I don’t think he believes this himself, but the fact that his advance team could put on a rap song that clearly denigrates women at a campaign event tells you about his leadership on the issue. Policy is set at the top and he doesn’t get it. Maybe your think Barack is refreshing on women. I find him depressing on gender issues and I don’t find him a paragon of integrity either. But he is smart and God knows we need that in a president. I think he will bring much needed innovation. And I think he will compromise his way into dealing with sexism because there are folks who won’t let him forget it, but the need for this backwards approach saddens me.

I’ve known lots of ordinary black men who celebrate their wives publicly and the women in their family. My father was one of them so I have a role model; you can blame him for making me the feminist that I am, for instiling in me the belief that I had the right to ask for more. (With respect to their men, Hillary and Michelle are a lot alike in my view though Michelle claims otherwise. Speaking your mind does not give you power unless you can turn talk into action.)

As for her mistakes, yes, we all make them, but she and Obama don’t admit mistakes. They are always misinterpreted. I expect that from McCain, or Hillary, but the claim that Obama is different simply isn’t true. When he insulted poor gun toting, bible readin’ folks as ignorant he never apologized. He just said he was misunderstood and he let the “whitey haters” go around saying well, it’s true. Gimme a break. How can you ask for respect when you won’t give it?

I too celebrate Michelle’s right to choose. I just want the whole picture discussed. I think in some ways, some women of her generation backed into this whole tihng. They wanted the picket fence and turned cartwheels to get it. They didn’t realize how hard it would be. I want young black women to know that they have a right to a life that works for them; the more women allow sexism from their intimates, the more it will exist. Her sacrifice to Barack’s dreams is tremendous. Love should be about mutual sacrifice. So, whatever model of childrearing a family chooses, rather than just acknowledging and accepting that sacrifice as an indication of understanding (which is what Obama has done to date), I’d prefer that men like Obama actively do something to make it easier for his daughters not to be forced to make it.

I am proud of her though because I’ve seen glimpses of improvement — and I’m rooting for her.

(As an aside, I am my own role model, and will deify and idolise no one. Never have and never shall, so I’m not looking at her or anyone else through any rose tinted specs. That’s just not going to happen.)

Mrs Obama has of her own free will made the choices she has made to support her husband in his endeavour and he freely recognises her worth and value to him; how much he is proud of, loves and appreciates her (how refreshing to see a husband in the public eye laud and applaud his wife so openly). If she chooses to stand beside/behind her busband in support of him I have no difficulties with that, whatsoever.

Mrs. Obama has achieved – and is achieving – in her own right and it’s interesting to see media this side of the Atlantic finally paying attention to her story and achievements as well as Barack’s. Yes, she’s the one holding it down on the home front as are any number of political wives and mothers many of whom I have no doubt are probably the intellectual equals if not superiors of their spouses. I recognise her for her achievements both within and outside of the home.

Well Michelle you have my love , and my support 100%

You are on point, and tell the truth. Have to co-sign to everything you wrote.