Michelle Obama Watch

I just stumbled upon your website – i love it! Anyway, I agree with your assessment. I’m really frustrated by this underlying narrative about Michelle “letting the team down.” It really doesn’t seem to bother her that she is a homemaker and a supporter of her husband’s presidency. She really seems to want to focus on her family and her kids. In fact, I think it bothers her that the PE isn’t home MORE to have family time. I think that with Michelle, despite the education and the high-paying jobs, she really is more of a family person and has had a chance to dabble in the corporate world, and is now dabbling and relishing in family life.

All of the criticism really seems like a case of people projecting their expectations and feelings on gender roles, on Michelle.

@Roni – exactly!

@’Admin’ I missed you too and I am so happy to be back! Glad you liked the post. (Hologram…hee!)

“Michelle Obama wrought for herself a life (temporarily, at least) of playing second fiddle.”

Is there anyone in the United States of America that wouldn’t play second fiddle to the President??? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

OT: PLEASE post the link to the designer sketch suggestions for Michelle and the WeeMichelles. I’d love to dish them with the folks at MOW.

http://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/dressing-the-first-lady-1875632#/slideshow/article/1875632/1876331

Now, as far as these articles go.

HIS DAUGHTERS?

Ok…Michelle’s pretty much been a single parent. Them going to the White House is the first time they’ll be together as a family on a constant basis..

But, ok…they are HIS daughters.

these women are fools. Fools

they act like Michelle wasn’t a career woman. Wasn’t a woman who took HER CHILD TO A JOB INTERVIEW. Wasn’t a woman who was the MAIN breadwinner in her house until 3 years ago, in a 16 year marriage.

I’m still at the point of asking, what could be more important to Michelle Obama than steering the WeeMichelles through this transition that will forever change their lives?

what could be more important than trying to provide a sanctuary of sanity to your husband who will have the entire world clawing at him 24/7 for the next for years.

Now, I’m not married. But, isn’t this what married people do?

They – and you know who THEY are – want Michelle to be Hillary Clinton. They want for Michelle to undermine and disrespect the Presidnet- elect, and emasculate him. ONLY WHEN Michelle does that, will she win their approval.

Michelle knows this, which is why it will NEVER happen.

I am wondering if you actually take the time to read the article to the end. Did you read the part quoting from Barak Obama himself about the frustration M.O. has had to face with having children and pressure his career choices has put on her?

No one opposes women being mothers. But here is the case with an intelligent, accomplished woman who clearly has had a very ambitious and independent career life and now is downsized to only a fraction of her potentials and capacity…only what she wears and what motherly role she plays…what you have to pay attention to is that she *is* capable of being a good mother and have a thriving career. She doesn’t have to choose therefore she shouldn’t be forced to chose just because Americans can’t take it.

How many times do these so-called feminists need to be asked “where were you and your Sisters when your Sister Michelle was the focus of so much racism and sexism during the campain?”, before one of them finally answers the question?! In this country, the so-called feminists are protected, they say what they want, defend whom they choose and then have the historical and insulting nerve to display their own racism with a smile on their faces while wondering what Michelle is doing for the “team”. Black women have watched this go down for so long, we can write their script. Believe me! We have lived with this racist double standard daily, at our jobs, in our communities, etc., etc., etc., for years and years and years, and now are helping our daughters and grand daughters through the mine field. Oh yes, it is that hurtful. Make no mistake. Just because the so-called feminists never have to acknowledge, aplogize or answer the question, does not mean we don’t see you, does not mean the question isn’t being asked. We Shall Overcome?! Please! Not yet.

What drives me crazy is the fact that they are obsessing over Michelle Obama when the women they should be focusing on are the women without a choice. I know a support staffer that HAD to quit a job she loved because her child care fell through, now she is taking care of baby during the day and hunting for a night job. She doesn’t get the either or options. SHe has to do both, but don’t hold your breath waiting on any columns about the women who work by the hour.

Exactly. My sister is a single working mother and I gave yet to see any handwringing for mothers like her. Many women would trade places with Michelle Obama – the anonymous hospital executive Michelle Obama – in a heartbeat to stay at home with their children. These “Mommy Wars” feminists who want to police womens’ choices and devalue stay-at-home-moms only drive women away from feminism.

They keep focusing on her giving up her job as a hospital executive, but where are the articles about the charge clerk who works in the emergency room at the university of Chicago? Are these women saying that there are some women who are “worthy” of staying home with children and others who aren’t or vice versa.

Yes, that is exactly what they are saying. Their administrative assistant LaVaughn is not “worthy” of staying home with her children but Michelle the hospital exec is “worthy” as long as she returns within an approved time frame and think 100% career first, family second for the rest of the life.

@Rikyrah

these women are fools. Fools

they act like Michelle wasn’t a career woman. Wasn’t a woman who took HER CHILD TO A JOB INTERVIEW. Wasn’t a woman who was the MAIN breadwinner in her house until 3 years ago, in a 16 year marriage.

Exactly! Reality outside of their navel gazing is not convenient to their argument. Michelle had been there, done that. She told Barbara Walters that she has never been the type of woman that defines herself solely by her career and it shows.

I’m still at the point of asking, what could be more important to Michelle Obama than steering the WeeMichelles through this transition that will forever change their lives?

what could be more important than trying to provide a sanctuary of sanity to your husband who will have the entire world clawing at him 24/7 for the next for years.

NOTHING!

Now, I’m not married. But, isn’t this what married people do?

I’m not married either, but that is what I thought. In fact, that is what I think successfully married people do.

They – and you know who THEY are – want Michelle to be Hillary Clinton. They want for Michelle to undermine and disrespect the Presidnet- elect, and emasculate him. ONLY WHEN Michelle does that, will she win their approval.

Michelle knows this, which is why it will NEVER happen.

Bingo!

Alice Walker said it best in In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens when she set about redefining and renaming feminism from the perspective of the African-American women’s experience, calling it Womanism.

A Womanist is described in part:

“…. committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male and female. Not a separatist … Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender….”

There’s always been a distinct disconnect between feminists (white women) and womanists (women of color) by virtue of worldview and life experiences. Black women not always having the luxury of choice have learned to balance self interests with support of family/community and not feel compromised. Michell is a true womanist. Committed to the wholeness of her family.

I am so sick and tired of white feminists and their incessant “mammy-fication” of black women. Michelle Obama isn’t their trophy centerpiece whose raison d’etre is to showcase their particular agenda.White feminists may view careers as the epitome of their self-worth but black women, who have always had to work and raise children (including the white children of privileged white women who comprise the ranks of white feminists) admire Michelle’s ability to exercise her option to focus on her family and her daughters’ well-being. Everyday on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, I see black women pushing white babies in strollers and attending to the white children of these same white feminists who are so focused on their careers. And once again, it begs the question: at whose expense are white feminists able to live out their “superwoman” dreams? And how long will black women be expected to be the actual and symbolic “mammies” of white women?

What I find as the underlying problem is the devaluation of a mother’s work. How can you be a feminist and not believe that being a mother is just as important as any crappy office job?

You have a point about white feminists and women of color. I am not arguing against that. I just can’t see this happy Michelle you talk about when I read these:
“When he launched his congressional run, Barack writes, “Michelle put up no pretense of being happy with the decision. My failure to clean up the kitchen suddenly became less endearing. Leaning down to kiss Michelle good-bye in the morning, all I would get was a peck on the cheek. By the time Sasha was born … my wife’s anger toward me seemed barely contained.”

Barack continues, “No matter how liberated I liked to see myself as — no matter how much I told myself that Michelle and I were equal partners, and that her dreams and ambitions were as important as my own — the fact was that when children showed up, it was Michelle and not I who was expected to make the necessary adjustments. Sure, I helped, but it was always on my terms, on my schedule. Meanwhile, she was the one who had to put her career on hold.”

And I don’t think the fact that there is not enough opportunity for the “receptionist” women to balance family and career is enough reason to force our first ladies to fit into pre-conceived roles in family.

The question is, did Michelle Obama, and many women like her, had/have enough help in raising their children and they didn’t take it? If this is the case then they chose to stay home. But if they made that choice simply because as president-elect puts it “they are expected to make adjustments” then I am not sure if I can buy it that it is a true choice out of will and not out of necessity.

Michelle Obama is important because if there is one women who will have enough help and resources to balance her life it would be her. If even she can’t make it then it’s all downhill from there.

They’ll get over it. The fact of the matter is the Modern First Lady seems to find herself in the unenviable position of not being able to win for losing. If Michelle had adopted an active position in terms of shaping policy as Hillary Rodham Clinton did when she modeled herself after Eleanor Roosevelt, I’m sure she would have been criticized for neglecting the girls.
They criticized Jackie O for her extravagant taste and now she’s been practically venerated for it.

I don’t think the average woman really truly feels that Michelle has let the team down, it’s a relatively minor vocal voice in the media that feels that way. And I can say that as a member of the media.

You have a point about white feminists and women of color. I am not arguing against that. I just can’t see this happy Michelle you talk about when I read these:

“When he launched his congressional run, Barack writes, “Michelle put up no pretense of being happy with the decision. My failure to clean up the kitchen suddenly became less endearing. Leaning down to kiss Michelle good-bye in the morning, all I would get was a peck on the cheek. By the time Sasha was born … my wife’s anger toward me seemed barely contained.”

I can.

It has been noted in countless interviews – and in “The Audacity of Hope” – the book you cite, that the Obamas worked past any issues in their marriage regarding his political career. They must have – the same Michelle Obama supported his U.S. Senate run in 2004 in a way that she elected not to in his 2000 run. The same Michelle Obama agreed to support him as he ran for president.

She is no wilting flower and if she did not truly approve, she would not have been on board.

The question is, did Michelle Obama, and many women like her, had/have enough help in raising their children and they didn’t take it? If this is the case then they chose to stay home. But if they made that choice simply because as president-elect puts it “they are expected to make adjustments” then I am not sure if I can buy it that it is a true choice out of will and not out of necessity.

See Lyric’s comment above, especially this:

Everyday on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, I see black women pushing white babies in strollers and attending to the white children of these same white feminists who are so focused on their careers. And once again, it begs the question: at whose expense are white feminists able to live out their “superwoman” dreams? And how long will black women be expected to be the actual and symbolic “mammies” of white women?

The gate-keeper feminists that complain about Michelle Obama not singing to their tune have plenty of help – often in the form of women who may look like Michelle Obama. Where are these hoards of women like Michelle who “had/have enough help in raising their children and they didn’t take it?” Executives like Michelle making six figures can well afford child care if they do not elect to leave their children with a willing relative. The receptionists you blew off in your comment would have a harder time finding affordable childcare and/or a job paying a fair, livable wage that allows her to spend adequate time caring for her children properly.

Also, regarding your comment “But if they made that choice simply because as president-elect puts it “they are expected to make adjustments” then I am not sure if I can buy it that it is a true choice out of will and not out of necessity.”

That’s a non-starter because in 2006, when Michelle Obama agreed to support her husband’s run for the presidency, she was already prepared for the reality of making the expected “adjustments.” You don’t have to buy whether she “made a true choice out of will and not out of necessity” because it was not necessary for him to run for POTUS and she did not have to say yes – plenty of wives have told their husbands that the would not support a political run.

So, the question is not “did Michelle Obama, and many women like her, had/have enough help in raising their children and they didn’t take it?” You act like Barack twisted Michelle’s arm and forced her to let him run for president. The question is when will women like Michelle as well as “LaVaughn the receptionist” get respect for whatever they choose to do. Even if it does not hold up to your feminist standards.

Hardcore feminist are an insult to me. They are doing the same exact thing they claim men do to women, take choice away from women, because according to them, the ONYL WAY michelle can be considered advancing women’s rights is to keep her job. She chose what she wants to do, and its to be mom in chief, yet becuase its not the feminist choice, so therefore, she’s not “one of us.” Their way or the highway!

also, did these so called feminist decide to conveniently forget the NUMEROUS times that Barack Obama said the one person that had veto power over him running is Michelle and Michelle’s mother. He said it MANY times during the campaign, that if Michelle did not want him to run, he would not have, again, HER CHOICE!

Lastly, why does everyone think she’s going to raise her kids, and be a home body only. She has said many times she is going to devote her time also to military moms, and working moms (i.e., other responsibilities, her “job” as first lady), so its not like she’s giving up a working life, this is the new job she has decided to take, HELPING WORKING MOTHERS!! something she wants to do

I wish people would stop being selective in what they decide to hear when it comes to this issue

either way, Michelle can never win because some crazy nuts (whether its these so called feminist, or right wing nuts). Whatever SHE DECIDES, it will never be good for someone. If she works, people will say she’s being a bad mom, if she does not, people will say she’s betraying women. And where were these people when she was being unfairly attacked?!?!

either way, people like myself who would love my daughters to grow up to be like Michelle if I have them some day, support Michelle in HER CHOICES (emphasis on HER CHOICE), and think she will be a great first lady!!!

LET MICHELLE BE MICHELLE!!!

I think many of the feminists (who did indeed remain silent while Michelle endured countless lies, smears, and attacks of both a sexist and racist nature) have somehow mistaken Michelle Obama for a well-known talk show host whose priority is to be a spiritual comfort and guide to a large female following.

However, it appears that Michelle’s priority is her husband and two daughters.

@ Dana

I agree. When Michelle was being lambasted as “angry black woman” and “unpatriotic” for expressing a moment of glee during her husband campaign, many “feminists” were quiet as churchmice. Nor they they speak up enough when Sarah Palin was being worshipped as the epitome of american womanhood. Again they were quiet. Not only that but Sarah Palin was encouraged to compare herself to a pitbull, while our Michelle was thoroughly chastised throughout the media for being to assertive, too aggressive, and too angry. All the while, feminists were either quiet or joined the harping at Michelle.

I am not open to anything they might have to say about what they believe Michelle’s role to be. They’ve shown their true colors in every way.

Michelle Obama has made the choice that most of us Working Mothers would give almost anything to now have the opportunity to choose – to be a MOM. To many, I have the “total package” – successful career, multiple degrees, husband, two children, big, beautiful house, etc. Everyday that I have to drop my children off into someone else’s care tears away at my heart. Missing a school event, dosing medicine before shuffling a little one off to school and hiring someone else to do things for my family that I can do best while I “go to work” for someone outside of my family does not make me a feminist, or a good mother or wife. I strongly believe that the elevated divorce rate in this country is attributed to women, particularly moms – deflecting or in many cases, neglecting the nurturing needs of their families. Marriages and families that stand the test of time have one head of household, and one backbone. Both roles are equally important, but they are different, and they should be. One can not exist without the other.

Dear Sister Michelle,

I am not shocked that supposed feminist WOMEN would demonize you for putting your husband and family first and for wanting to shape and mold the lives of your two daughters. Perhaps they could learn something from you since most marriages end in divorce and most children are completely displaced and have numerous emotional issues. I applaud you for your choice. I admire you for your decision to be a mother first. You are a shining example of a woman who has achieved so much in her career but then understands her GOD GIVEN role in this world. There is nothing demeaning and it is the most honorable job in the world to be a good mother and a good wife. You are the glue that keeps your family together. You understand the power that you have so don’t for one second allow any of these so called feminists who have no idea how to harness the power of being feminine persuade you otherwise. Your daughters are fortunate to watch you as an example of what a REAL FEMINIST is. All of my love, Geeta

I am loving your website too! The show– To The Contrary on PBS–spoke about this issue–a few weeks ago. I wrote them an email–basically stating that for a black woman–it’s actually very feminist of her to choose to “stay home” to focus on her daughters. African-American women have always had to work outside of the home, and Michelle has been no exception. It is actually very empowering for black women, (to witness a black woman), getting the opportunity to spend time with her children. The current images of black women are terrible. We are either Beyonces “shaking what our mamas gave us”–Crackheads, or are on some reality tv show–willing to claw the eyes out at other black women for the attention of a man (ie Flava of Love). Michelle is a refreshing image, that of a loving and dedicated mother (and by dedication I mean in the media black women are often seen as being cruel to their children–I remember watching a tv show once–where the black mother–who was a crackhead, of course–used her baby as a shield to fend off bullets from the cops!!). So– I am one that is NOT offended by Michelle’s choice.

As a mother, step mother, wife and professional. I am so proud of Michelle for choosing to be a mother first. It is my most important goal in life to raise independent, happy children.

It is a constant and difficult job. People get real!! It is harder to raise happy well adjusted children then almost anything (Presidency mmm maybe is a little harder), but being a good parent can make you an excellent leader. Listen, make decisions, give respect – all the tools needed to be a great parent….. Seems to me she got it all.