In this video package from CNN, Susan Roesgen reports on Michelle Obama’s desire to be “First Mom” and almost laments the fact that a Princeton and Harvard graduate might forgo being a high powered Washington “power broker” to focus on her children. In the piece, they try to compare Michelle to Laura Bush and infer that she is going to play the opposite role that Hilary Clinton played as First Lady.
I have plenty of friends who did 3 and out at major law firms. They got their experience, left, got married, had kids and they are happy. In fact the ones who don’t have children and aren’t married are eying their biological clocks like egg timers. Believe it or not some incredibly smart,gifted, highly-educated women love being full time mothers. I would say managing the lives of two young girls is pretty hectic and mentally challenging.I know I’m exhausted after babysitting my nephew for extremely short periods of time. In fact, I don’t envy stay-at-home Moms at all. To maintain that level of vigilance for 8 hours has to be mentally challenging. I’d rather manage adults any day as opposed to managing tiny human beings who develop infinite ways to give you a heart attack.
You worry when they are too loud. You worry more when they don’t make enough noise. They demand that you play games like LIFE and cry when they don’t pull the “salary” card that they wanted.They don’t really want to “play” LIFE, they just want to beat you at playing life. If they don’t get the pre-determined result they anticipated, then they are not above whining. (Did you know that they’ve “updated” Life and made it far more complicated than necessary?)
You’re forced to weigh the benefits of letting them win and stunting their intellectual development, versus crushing them on account of your superior judgment and the ability to tell the difference between three $100 bills and six $20 bills of fake LIFE money. These tiny people ask the most impertinent questions, free from the constructs of political correctness and then you have to provide a decent answer otherwise you will scar them for life and that’s just in the two hours while their parents are out watching a movie.
No I would say “First Mom” is likely a more challenging position than “First Lady.” There is a difference between power and influence. Michelle Obama doesn’t need to be a “power broker” she has influence. Nothing wrong with delegating.
How cool was it that Michelle rocked a track suit to her parent-teacher conference? In other words, she isn’t listening to all the chatter about that “lava lamp” dress “situation.” I think she is going to be writing her own script if the ball cap and the track suit are any indication.
Posted by Gina
18 Comments, Comment or Ping
Luz
I am concerned about the message “First Mom” sends. I don’t hear Barack going around saying “First Dad”. I wonder if the situation were reversed if Mr. Obama would be content to stand on the “sidelines” of power and history. There is no conflict between being the “First Mom” and the “First Lady” and a strong political influence and otherwise. Ironically Sarah Palin is a better example of a balanced household than our “democatric” president elect first family is posed to be. Are the Obama’s afraid to shake the still existing “establishment” and appear like the Clinton’s, whose “First Lady” showed “too much muscle”? Never mind what the extraordinary child they were able to produce… It is possible to be a “First Mom” and “First Dad” and an example to the world of equality for women. Don’t make it sound like there is something wrong for a “First Lady” if she doesn’t label herself “First Mom”, just like Mr. Obama doesn’t have to do it either to show that his first priority are his children.
Nov 8th, 2008
Tori
I would also like to point out that being the First Lady is not an easy job. Most moms think being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job. To do that and be such a huge figure (and if all the chatter about her is any indication, she will be) is not a demotion. It’s a ridiculous presumption on CNN’s part.
Nov 8th, 2008
rikyrah
Her children are young. They are her priority. It’s not like that’s the only thing she’s going to be doing. She’ll be raising the kids, trying to keep some semblance of normalcy for her husband as the world crushes in, AND, doing the First Lady gig too. Methinks Michelle Obama will be busy.
Nov 8th, 2008
Bohwe
Michelle Obama knows exactly what she is doing. This was a calculated move on she and President Obama. Certain media outlets have pinned, Michelle Obama as this emasculating angry woman. So, what did Obama and Michelle do, they reversed the script on the media, so they couldn’t use Michelle has a weapon during the campaign and his term in office. For example, no longer is Michelle rocking the Oprahesque suits, now she rocks the sheath dresses, that are feminine, yet understated. She began wearing flats, so her tall frame wouldn’t appear equal to Obama, or intimidated to others. She doesn’t wear alot of visible make-up. They have turned Michelle into the Perfect wife and mother, thus allowing Michelle to take a backseat physically to Obama without making it known.
Also, Michelle has made it perfectly clear that her role is to be a mom to her daughters, and only deal with issues that effect them , and won’t take on a cabinet posistion or give direct advice. In other words, I’ll have his ear as his wife, and that is how he will ultimately make his decisions.
Lastly, the idea that black women are seen as over-bearing controlling women, the Obamas realize that she has to be seen as the “mainstream Yuppie mom”, thus the stay at home personal, so that America would be able to accept her. If you really look closely to her interactions with Jill Biden, it appears as if Jill is her mentor as well as friend, considering the fact that Jill is an older woman.
Nov 8th, 2008
Kathleen Trigiani
It is disappointing to see Ivy League women sell out to patriarchy and become economically dependent on their husbands. Like it or not, a stay-at-home mom is subordinate to her husband. I know it is hard to raise children. However, it should be a “call to arms” to demand family-friendly workplaces, and end to discrimination against wage-earning mothers, and most of all, husbands who take equal responsibility for housework and childcare.
I voted for Obama, but already I am disappointed in his “pale male” administration. American feminists need to demand that Obama follow the lead of Chile’s Michele Bachelet and Spain’s Louis Zapatero and ensure that 50% of his Cabinet members are feminist women.
I don’t like Michelle’s “First Mom” comment. However, First Ladies don’t get paid anything and Michelle needs to insist that if we expect First Ladies to “be active,” then America needs to pay them.
Nov 8th, 2008
nano
“First Mom” is the best and most appropriate title for a First Lady with young chldren. I didnt support Obama for President, but I will applaud if his wife remembers her children are far more important than anything else.
Nov 8th, 2008
Dee
Bohwe, I agree wholeheartedly with your comments; Mr. and Mrs. Obama have had to deal with the reality of how black people are still depicted and viewed in the media and wider society, and take steps to reassure that they are not “different” in a hazardous and threatening way (as frustrating and upsetting as this is.)
I have no doubt that their daughters are the centre of the Obamas’ world, but Mrs. Obama’s public “First Mum” comments, may well also be part of this still ongoing need to reassure that she isn’t going to “muscle in and take over.”
Her children are growing up fast, and as she adjusts to her new life, I’ve no doubt she’ll find a way to combine her roles as a much loved wife and mother with her own equally satisfying intellectual pursuits, too.
Nov 9th, 2008
Kimberly
Gina, you make a great and astute distinction between power and influence.
Nov 9th, 2008
Terri
Why must CNN always throw the spanner into the works? So now being a Mom is a demotion? So all those women who choose to leave their careers and focus on their families have settled for less? And all those stay at home moms who have never worked are nothing? Because that is exactly what CNN is implying.
Michelle has set her priorities - Note: Her priorities and just because they are not what some CNN writer would have chosen doesn’t make them or her any less. Being the intelligent couple and loving parents they are, obviously they discussed all this before they decided to run for President. Remember also that the move to Washington is not a lifetime move. It is eight years of their lives after which they go back to their own lives. So why would Michelle start a new career in Washington when she is not their for the rest of her lifetime?
The media shouldn’t stereotype. Rather they should be excited at what she wants to do with her time at the White House and stop imposing thier own negatives into every situation. This is exactly how all these smears and lies during the campaign have been passed on. Let us see for ourselves what Michelle is going to do. Stop the negative!!!
Nov 10th, 2008
Lynne
OMG…I am so sick of feminazis lamenting women who put their family first…damn. If I hear another person pull the “what about Dad” line, I will throw the hell up. As a DAUGHTER, I seriously commend Michelle and hope she knows not all of us with a uterus are so freaking insecure about it that we need to prove how “just like the fellas” we are. Damn, I am sick to DEATH with that meme.
Nov 10th, 2008
Chenel
I have three small children and I understand both sides of the issue. Michelle is a sophisticated and accomplished lady but she is prioritizing here. If you do a study on the “first children” you would know that is going to be a difficult transition for the kids. They are leaving behind their home and their friends to live in a fishbowl for the new four possibly eight years.
With any undertaking whether it’s POTUS or any other career aspiration, it’s pertinent to have priorities in order and the children should come first. Having said that, I have no doubt that MO will find a way to define the role of First Lady into one that fits best for her family. Gauging from how she balanced her role on the campaign trail, I’m think ultimately it translate into exceeding our expectations as well.
As for CNN, well Campbell Brown has a 10 month old and is expecting her 2nd child, so I don’t think they meant to denigrate anyone.
Nov 11th, 2008
Crystal
Let’s face it, women do have to make sacrifices if you want to be a good mother and a career woman.
One mentor told me, what would you rather have on your tombstone, “Beloved Mother” or “One Hard Ass Worker for Company A or B”?
We were put on this earth to be nurturers, yes, many of us have advanced degrees and high level jobs, but like most of us, we also have the task of being the stability of the home.
Believe me, Michelle has the rest of her life to accomplish all of her goals, she has already done so by helping to get her husband elected to the Presidency of the United States of America, and raising two beautiful, well behaved children, along with her impressive career up to this point.
One thing is certain, she is making sure that she raising those girls so that in their adulthood, they won’t throw anything in her face about being a selfish, self centered woman, like one woman who ran for a national office this year.
Nov 14th, 2008
Denise M. P.
Never is Mom first, a demotion for any women. Children are and should always be a priority. Women do what they have to do to take care of their children. Michelle and Barrack are two successful individuals, and I’m sure they did what they had to do when they needed to, to get were they are today. Having reached the ultimate altitudes of their lives togather, Michelled now needs nothing more then to make sure her two beautiful daughters whom she loves with every breath in her body, only wants to make sure that her girls are safe, loved completely, that they are well grounded and makes it to the highest altitue in which they will want to travel through their lifes journey. Kudo’s to you Mrs Obama, you are truely a women who knows when you have reached the epitome of success, and when to stand behind your man, after having stood beside him all these years. I pray that God takes you all to the highest level of accomplishments by any first family.
Nov 14th, 2008
Diane
Oh brother lol. When will some feminists stop hating women?
What was the point of those fifty plus years if you’re going to bash a woman’s personal choice to be a stay at home mother? And it’s not like most women even have this option. Most work two three jobs just to get by. So if you’re worrying worry about the children with no health care, over worked parents. Stop picking on personal choice.
As for the Pres. Obama, “oh why isn’t he first dad!”? What’s the point of this line of argument? He’s the President lol this is his job. He is also a father. If he wanted to be called first dad he would have called himself that.
Im tired of this meme that to be a feminist you have to be like Hillary. Perhaps, shocking as it may seem, Michelle Obama is her own woman. A woman that is not interested in turning her four or eight years as first lady into a stepping stone to President of America.
Again I ask, when will women stop hating each other.
Nov 14th, 2008
Jen
I can agree that being a stay-at-home mother to one’s children, particularly in the early years, is a choice that many women are free to make. However, it is not an option that Michelle Obama exercised before. So, folks can crow all they want about how she’s making the right choice to stay at home with her family now, do those same folks think she was making the WRONG choice to work outside the home before Barack Obama became president-elect? If you don’t think so, then what’s wrong with asking the question?
I think it’s a legitimate question to ask whether this lifestyle change will feel like a demotion to the First Lady, not that I ever expect her to say so out loud to the US public.
Nov 19th, 2008
Tricia
I totally agree with Michelle Obama.She has young kids and they would not be growing up normal life there every move will be scrutinized and at times critized so instead of them coming home and being greeted by a nanny their mom will be right there.
She does’nt have to try to justify to any boss how important a child’s spelling bee is than some budget meeting at work.
Good for you Michelle I am very proud of you
Nov 23rd, 2008
Robert Conroy
Michelle Obama hasn’t even gotten into the White House and already she’s judged against Laura Bush and Hillary Clinton. Give her A break. She is her OWN woman with her OWN agenda. Stop trying to make her into YOUR image on how and what she should do and be.She is not Laura Bush nor is she Hillary Clinton she is A strong black woman raising her two daughters and she doesn’t need your help. She knows what to do, she’s had 200 years of training,
I don’t know if she has A role model or who it might be. In my opinion, she IS A role model and will remain one for some time. Stop trying to run her life and leave her alone.
Nov 24th, 2008
Lisa
Shouldn’t you issue an apology??? CNN didn’t demote Ms. Obama. She claims her primary role is as “mom-in-chief.”
Nov 28th, 2008
Reply to “CNN: “First Mom” a Demotion?”